the xlog : x-rated weblog

This cracked me up so I’m passing it on to you. My friend The Walrus has a blog where he posted this Britney Spears Spoof video. Check it out and see if makes you laugh too.

Last Thurday a policewoman was given a cautionary warning that while working undercover as a [tag]prostitute[/tag] would be okay, it wasn’t okay to actually be a prostitute as a part-time job. Read the story at Cop censured for under the covers work

I usually think of New Zealand as being pretty liberal when it comes to TV ads. But Japanese carmaker Nissan has just pulled a raunchy commercial starring “Sex and the City” actress Kim Cattrall from New Zealand television after complaints over its content.

The video clip here has Kim purring with excitement about Nissan’s new sedan in one of the commercials. See if you think this is worth complaining about.

There are two other commercials. In one of them she gushes, “Why didn’t you tell me it was so big, I just wasn’t prepared for it? “The all-new Nissan Tiida makes you feel really, really, really good inside.” In another she tells a salesman: “Ah! That was amazing. Absolutely fabulous! I mean the great body and the way you moved it.”

And for that New Zealanders are complaining? What the fuck is wrong with those idiots?! I swear, I think this world has far too many people with their heads far too far up other people’s asses.

What do you think?

Yeah, that’s a big fucking cock, that is. And that’s a flaccid whale cock. Just imagine that fucker fully erect and headed your way. Yeah, duck is right.

Click the photo for a larger view in a new window, and read on to learn what I found to go with this photo.

A blue whale produces over 400 gallons of sperm when it cums. That’s right. Over 400 gallons.

But here’s the thing. Only about 10% of that 400 gallons actually gets into the female whale. So that leaves about 360 gallons of blue whale moneyshot spilled all over the place everytime one of these big bastards lets go a load.

Still wondering why the oceans are so salty?

(Some math notes for those who care: A typical human cums about 2 to 6 milliliters (ml). A milliliter is 0.00023 gallon. Using 4ml as an average human cum shot, and roughing the numbers a little, it would take about 1,000 human cumshots to fill a gallon container. Using tight numbers, it would be 440,489 human cumshots to equal the volume of one blue whale ejaculation. Yep, nearly half a million of us, or almost a million if we’re fucking someone, just to equal one whale cumshot. So I don’t want to hear any complaints about people fucking in the ocean. It’s not us getting it all salty!)

A couple of months ago we had some interesting ideas for around the pussy tattoos posted here, but the one shown here really wins the prize for “Voted Most Popular Prisoner” in my book.

I definitely would not want to go to prison with this tattoo. I guess I’m not much interested in being Most Popular Prisoner. Nope, not one of my goals.

Now I’m not saying that there’s anything wrong with wanting to go to prison with a tattoo like that.

I mean, to each his own.

I’m just saying it would not be anywhere on my list of good prison [tag]tattoos[/tag].

YMMV