the xlog : x-rated weblog

What the fuck is this? Little Johnny’s first moneyshot?

Well, somehow I missed the original release of this product sometime last year. But I did see that its television commercial was back in circulation just in time for good people everywhere to run out, fight the hordes, and grab one of these as the perfect holiday gift for their own kids or someone else’s.

Yeah, right, that is if by perfect you mean you want to be remembered as the relative who started Little Johnny (or Joanie) on their path to porn stardom. Use the controls on the video above to watch the real television commercial.

Okay. So if you watched the commercial I think you know what I mean by the moneyshot comment. To me that commercial looks like the ethnic mix of a Benneton kids commercial with a porn action overlay.

Even if you discount how the Oozinator itself looks a bit like the cock from an alien porn movie, can you really watch those children receiving load after load of what the Hasbro website calls “globs of gooey bio-ooze” without thinking that this might have been a bad idea for a toy?

I’m not sure what was going on at the actual Hasbro board meetings when the Oozinator was discussed and given the green light for production, but the second video above is a comedic look at an an imaginary board meeting discussing a product that they call the Splooginator, which at least is a more honest name for this toy. You can use the controls just below the image to start the video.

The Oozinator was available for sale on the Amazon.com website, and the product definitely inspired some very interesting comments from their customers. Amazon of course decided to pull those comments so no one could see them anymore.

But wait. You see that didn’t really work as well as they hoped, since we do have a screen capture for you, showing some of what was said before the comments were removed. Click on the small graphic on the left below to see the comments about the Oozinator from the Amazon website before they were removed.

So, tell us what you think. Good idea for a toy for kids? Bad idea? Could be fun for adults? Would you buy one, give one as a gift, let your own kids have one?

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[cartoon from wordsandpicturesonline.com]