Strippers for the Dead
The older cultures sometimes have the best traditions. Lots of cultures believe that the more people who attend someone’s funeral, the more important or honored that person must have been in life. Well, in China they have a way to guarantee a good turnout at a funeral: they use [tag]strippers[/tag]!
That’s right, they use naked dancing girls to attract more “mourners” to the funeral. Wealthy families often hire several strippers, and sometimes more than one group of strippers are employed, to ensure an even bigger crowd.
Wonder how I found out about this? I heard about it because the dickless wonders who run mainland China have now banned the traditional practice. They even arrested the people who run five of the stripper troupes for “obscene performances.”
Fucking uptight bureaucratic assholes.
Fortunately in Taiwan, which is free from mainland control–and I hope they stay that way, the traditions are still honored. In fact, together with the explicit strippers, the funerals often include hardcore remarks made about the virility of the deceased. Hell, they even use strippers in temples to express gratitude for lottery winnings!
So my advice for you today is, if you have to die and be buried in China, make sure you’re in Taiwan when you kick.
