the xlog : x-rated weblog

a twisted and humorous look at sex, pornography, and the world in general

July 23, 2006

Hey homo, who you callin’ breeder?

Filed under: commentary,sex news — Simon @ 2:14 pm

Hard to believe, but on Friday we saw a report that Provincetown, Massachusetts is now getting a reputation as an “anti-straight” destination. Visit Provincetown and you may get heckled as a “babymaker” or a “breeder.” Nice way for New England’s gay capital to be acting. Sure, maybe there’s been gay bashing over the years But does that mean that turnabout is fair play? Yeah, then where’s the fuckin’ reacharound? Read the whole story at Gays accused of discrimination in resort town.

July 21, 2006

Too sexy for my …New Zealand

Filed under: celebrities,commentary,sex news,video clips — Simon @ 3:31 pm

I usually think of New Zealand as being pretty liberal when it comes to TV ads. But Japanese carmaker Nissan has just pulled a raunchy commercial starring “Sex and the City” actress Kim Cattrall from New Zealand television after complaints over its content.

The video clip here has Kim purring with excitement about Nissan’s new sedan in one of the commercials. See if you think this is worth complaining about.





There are two other commercials. In one of them she gushes, “Why didn’t you tell me it was so big, I just wasn’t prepared for it? “The all-new Nissan Tiida makes you feel really, really, really good inside.” In another she tells a salesman: “Ah! That was amazing. Absolutely fabulous! I mean the great body and the way you moved it.”

And for that New Zealanders are complaining? What the fuck is wrong with those idiots?! I swear, I think this world has far too many people with their heads far too far up other people’s asses.

What do you think?

July 7, 2006

Porn isn’t all that makes me happy

Filed under: commentary,humor,sex news — Simon @ 11:24 am

buddychristBesides the fact that [tag]Dogma[/tag] is one of those movies that makes me laugh everytime I watch it, the [tag]Buddy Christ[/tag] icon is also used as a small symbol of recognition in some corners of the adult webmaster world.

It’s not like an Academy Award or anything, it really just signifies that someone has been in existence long enough, and has made the proper amount of comments necessary, to prove they’re a relatively upstanding member of that community.

So, anyway, on to my actual point.

Today, after years of diligently toiling in the salt mines that are the world of the adult webmaster, I will have finally earned my own Buddy Christ.

If I had a dancing banana smilie I’d stick one on the end of this post.

June 30, 2006

Fucking funny dance routine

Filed under: commentary,humor,video clips — Simon @ 7:46 am

This is a porn blog so some people think I need to say “fuck” and “fucking” a lot more. I figured I’ll try it with this post. Since I’m fucking old enough to remember all of the fucking dances this fuck includes in his fucking routine, it really made me fucking laugh to watch him work his fucking way from the fucking 50s through today. Just click on the fucking video to start the fuck doing his show…

Yanno, it looks like this fuck gets a hell of a fucking workout during the six fucking minutes or so that he performs here. I thought the guy was pretty fucking funny, so I’d think he gets plenty of fucking gigs. Made me fucking wonder why he’s not a bit fucking thinner.

Note to the “you need to use more ‘fuck’ in your posts” people: Okay, I fucking tried it. Not fucking sure how the fuck much I like it. Just fucking seems like extra fucking words to me.

How about you? Did you find this pretty fucking entertaining? Did you miss the fucking sarcasm completely? Click on the fucking comment link below to tell me what the fuck you think.

April 14, 2006

Israeli porn sites under hacker attack

Filed under: commentary,sex news — Simon @ 1:37 pm

It’s only Israeli websites so far, but “Da-Net Group” has been hacking into sites and replacing pages and photos with images of a stern, white-bearded rabbi and text claiming responsiblity for having “erased all its abomination.” The text continues to say that the porn site was “a violation which has caused many people’s death, troubles and calamities.”

Wonder what the “violation” was all about? Simple, it seems Da-Net Group is pissed off because sites like those can cause a man to have “spilt his sperm for nothing!” as their text explains.

These people are just right out of their fucking minds.
There are only two kinds of people in this world: the people who masturbate … and the people who lie about not masturbating.

These idiots are afraid of their own fucking dicks!

— inspired by “Jewish “sex commando” targets Israeli porn Web sites”

March 31, 2006

Do NOT book me into the Castration Cottage!

Filed under: commentary,humor,photos,sex news — Simon @ 4:50 pm

castration cottageOkay, I’m not saying you’re looking to have this done, but if you were going to lose your balls forever, is this the place you’d want it to happen?

I mean, seriously, wouldn’t your nads feel a little more comfortable with the whole idea if they knew you were going to a real medical facility to get them separated from you forever?



castrators pixAnd again, I’m not saying you’d ever want to have your balls removed, but even if you did want them offed, are these the three guys you’d want to trust with removing them?

Hell, are these three guys you’d want doing any kind of medical procedure one you?

This is unbelievable. Check out this real true-life [tag]castration[/tag] story…

HaywoodCountyNews.com: Authorities shut down sadomasochistic dungeon
by Jon Ostendorff, staff writer/Citizen-Times
updated March 31, 2006 6:24 pm

WAYNESVILLE – At least six men traveled from across the nation and South America to have their genitals mutilated in what Haywood County authorities described as a sadomasochistic dungeon.

Three Haywood County men are now in jail on felony charges of castration without malice and practicing medicine without a license.
(click to read more…)

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