the xlog : x-rated weblog

On July 1st, a new business opened in the quiet town of Pahrump, Nevada (about an hour from Las Vegas). What makes this interesting is that the business is a laundromat, called “Dirty Laundry,” which is owned by the Hollywood Madam herself, Heidi Fleiss.

In case you don’t remember the details (or the book or movie), Heidi made headlines in 1993 when she was 27, by being arrested for running a very upscale call girl ring. Her little black book was filled with movie industry names, along with royal figures, heads of state, politicians, sheiks and business tycoons.

Many famous people were worried that her trial would wind up making their own dirty laundry very public. But actually the only names which came out were actor Charlie Sheen and Texas billionaire businessman Robert T. Crow, who admitted to using her service. Sheen actually testified in her trial that he’d spent over $35,000 for the girls’ services. He paid using personal checks, including one for services on Christmas day.

So why is Ms. Fleiss opening a laundromat in Death Valley? Evidently it’s so she’ll have something to do to pass the time until she has approval to open a legal brothel in Pahrump. Of course, once her brothel is open, it’ll probably be nice to have somewhere to send all their dirty laundry.

Hey, I wonder if Charlie Sheen will be stopping by to leave a load with Heidi this time?

Boob jobs have become the #1 most desired graduation gift. That’s right, well, at least in Italy anyway. Breast enlargement surgery is now the most common graduation gift for Italian girls who’ve passed their secondary school exams.

It used to be that the girls wanted, and got, summer holiday vacations and automobiles. But those things have been knocked down to second and third place choices these days.

An 18 year-old from Rome, Angelica Pesce, said she’s not alone in her plans to have her breasts enlarged. Angelica has many friends who she says will also be getting boob jobs now that they’ve completed their schooling.

She said: “It’s a much more useful present than something like a car, which will break down after a few years, or a holiday, which is over within a week. My new breasts will last a lifetime.”

Maybe it’s just me, but I’d be interested in seeing some statistics on what the girls who ask for boob jobs are studying in school. I’m just guessing here, but I’d wager that most of them aren’t planning to do much to further their educations.

Actually, I’d bet that we’ll be seeing a few of them in hot eurosex porn videos before too long.

Durex Australia has a new ad asking if you’ve “Got what it takes to be an official [tag]condom[/tag] tester?” The company is looking for 200 testers to fill what they’re calling a “sexecutive position.”

While the position is unpaid, a Durex spokesman said it’s the world’s best job. “With this job on your CV, it really will be a chance to brag to your mates about the special skills you possess, not to mention that your new role will work wonders with the opposite sex.”

The selected testers will receive free Durex products, plus a bonus prize of A$1,000 ($854) for one lucky winner. In return, testers will have to report back on the feel and performance of the company’s products.

The condom tester positions are only available in Australia at the moment (too bad for the rest of the world for now). Would-be testers will be asked to explain why they should be considered. Humor would help in the application, Durex said.

“To apply, simply explain why you think you’re right for the position (missionary is acceptable) and you could be eligible for the employee bonus of $1,000,” says the ad on Durex website (click here to apply).

After surviving the Air Force, 47 year-old Benjamin Houghton developed cancer in his left testicle. He went into the veterans hospital in Los Angeles to have the testicle removed because it was atrophied and painful.

Unfortunately, the VA hospital doctors didn’t have the sense to mark a big “X” on the left testicle. So instead of removing his cancerous, atrophied and painful left testicle, they cut off his perfectly healthy right testicle.

“At first I thought it was a joke,” Houghton said.

The chief of staff for the Greater Los Angeles VA system has apologized and said that the hospital changed practices as a result of the case.

Yeah, you read that right. They’ve changed practices at the hospital. That must mean that they will no longer cut off the wrong 1 of 2 testicles. And I guess that means that Ben could safely rely on them to remove his only remaining testicle without botching the job again. So far though, he’s hanging on to his last ball, painful or not.

We hear plenty in the news about that Little Kim whack job who runs the northern part of Korea, but the news here never seems to have much to say about the things that go on in the southern part of the country. Well, here are some pictures from Korea’s Loveland Sex Park which I can’t believe CNN hasn’t found time to cover between their non-stop Anna Nicole marathons. You can click on the thumbnails for larger images.

I’m thinking this is one park which I wouldn’t mind taking a little stroll through. Might be interesting to take a pretty girl for a walk there and see what kind of inspiration the art provokes.

This would be the sex tape that I’d want to see, but there’s not even a rumor of one yet. You can see Robert McClenahan smiling in the photo here, but he was writhing in agony a few hours later. Evidently, Robert was fucking his new bride so passionately that he somehow broke his dick! His wife, Emma, said “We were having sex and he missed and broke his willy. We turned on the light and it was bent.” The couple went to a hospital and Robert had surgery two days later. No reports yet on how the repaired dick will compare to the unbent original.

Okay, all you lovers of fresh, hot Krispy Kreme donuts, raise your hands! Yeah, that includes you if you know you can microwave them for 8 seconds to get them just right again. Check out the video below from an Atlanta area NBC news station, and see if you can make out what the words say on the graphic next to this lucky on-air talent’s face.

Here’s a still image so you can make out the words a bit better.

I don’t know the story of how this one slipped through and got on the network news, but I thought I’d share it with you while it was fresh… you know, like the donuts.

Now, why don’t you go feed someone a donut and see if you get a blowjob.