the xlog : x-rated weblog

Let this serve as a reminder for everyone climbing up on their roofs this holiday season, it can be a dangerous place to slip if you’re holding a pneumatic nail gun.

That’s a lesson that August Voegl learned when he tripped and accidentally fired a four-inch nail through his left testicle and into the roof where he was working.

He couldn’t pull the nail out of the roof, nor could he pull himself off the nail. (Talk about not being able to get off!) An emergency medical team had to be called in to separate the two of them and airlift him to a hospital where he’s recovering following surgery.

Like the South Korean people don’t have enough to worry about with North Korean as a neighbor, now their own government is trying to restrict their god-given right to have sex with a rubber doll.

Here’s the deal. In South Korea you can rent what’s called a “doll experience room” for an hour for just over $26 US (or 25,000 Won). That gets you a bed, a computer. and a well-made rubber sex doll. The dolls are what we call a Real Doll and what they think we call a “dirty wife” for some reason. These are expensive and realistic playtoys we’re talking about here, with the starting price to purchase one being around $6,500 plus $500 for shipping. (Yes, that’s a [tags]Real Doll[/tags] in the photo.)

The doll experience rooms were introduced as a way around the Special Law on Prostitution which went into effect in 2004. So first your country tells you that you can’t fuck the women who are willing to fuck you for money, and now they’re trying to say that you can’t pay to fuck a rubber woman either.

Sometimes I’m pretty sure that this world is just about as fucked up as it would be if some asshole ran the whole thing.

–Note to self: but it’d still be nice to get the licensing rights to a line of Pussycat Dolls made by Real Dolls.

If you’re ever in Serbia and a witchdoctor tells you that having sex with a hedgehog will cure premature ejaculation, don’t fucking take his advice. Zoran Nikolovic believed the advice and wound up in the operating room when the hedgehog’s needles severely lacerated his dick.

The good news is that the hedgehog survived unhurt by the encounter with the idiot. The bad news is that the hospital was able to repair the damage to the dick, so there’s still a chance this moron could breed.

Actually, we mean more years of knowing that you’re enjoying [tag]porn[/tag]. And this isn’t something some pothead said at a local smokeshop in West Nowhere. No, we’re basing that statement on new research in the USA which claims that smoking pot prevents Alzheimer’s disease.

The Scripps Research Institute in California is now saying that the active ingredient in marijuana, THC (delta-9-tetrahydrocannabinol), prevents the progression of the disease by preserving levels of the neurotransmitter acetylcholine better than current commercial drugs. In their report to the Molecular Pharmaceutics journal, the researchers said THC is also more effective at blocking the clumps of protein which can inhibit memory and cognition in Alzheimer’s patients.

So now, besides helping relieve glaucoma and the side-effects of chemotherapy and AIDS treatments, we can now add that marijuana smoking helps prevent the leading cause of dementia among the elderly.

When the hell are the medical establishment and the lawmakers going to stop taking money from the big pharmaceutical companies and work together to get the criminal penalties removed at least for those who have valid medical needs?

How about making love to some cellphone-sounding music coming from your condom-covered cock?

Korrespondent magazine reports that a Ukrainian scientist has invented a new [tag]condom[/tag] with a miniature loudspeaker and motion sensor implanted in the condom’s upper cuff. The volume of the music varies with the intensity of the sex, and the tones change depending on the postions of the partners. Testing so far has shown no danger of electric shock to users of the device.

We don’t know when the Ukrainian condom will be on the market, but you can find a few other musical condoms by clicking the image of the little pig.

The things that come out when celebs are suing each other. This week Liza Minnelli’s estranged husband, David Gest, had his ten million dollar civil suit against her thrown out of court. He was claiming that in her drunken rages, Liza used to beat him up so badly that not only was he hospitalized but that he’s been having “severe, unrelenting” headaches ever since. The suit was held to have no merit when Gest’s own medical expert testified that it was a strain of herpes that was causing the headaches. Oh well, David, you may not be able to catch a break but at least you know where you can catch a beating.

Walk past the “dick tree” and the electric nipple clips and you come to The Throne, a replica of a reclining rocker that once toured the finest whorehouses in 19th-century France. An attached card says it was used for “group games.” While Berlin, Barcelona, Madrid and Amsterdam all have “museums of the erotic,” the Sex Machine Museum in Prague may be the first of its kind. The museum showcases an exposition of mechanical erotic appliances which were designed to bring pleasure and allow extraordinary and unusual positions during intercourse.

On an area of three floors there are more than 200 objects and mechanical appliances on view, a gallery of art with erotic themes, a cinema with old erotic films, erotic boudoir clothing and various other things related to human sexuality. You’ll see sex machines that are precursors to our modern-day stimulators, chastity belts, iron corsets, and other historical contraceptive devices. Some are demonstrated by mannequins, others speak for themselves. The wide variety of appliances range from intriguing to disturbing.

If you’re planning a trip to Prague anytime soon, you can visit the Sex Machines Museum between 10am and 11pm daily. Remember that no one under 18 is allowed inside. Their address is Melantrichova 18 – 11000 Praha 1, and their phone number is + 420 224216505.

You can also visit the Sex Machines Museum website.