the xlog : x-rated weblog

a twisted and humorous look at sex, pornography, and the world in general

May 24, 2006

Floozee Puppet Fucking

Filed under: humor,photos — Simon @ 10:22 am

Puppets Blowjob (humor pic) If you’ve never seen a couple of puppets getting it on, then you should take a look at the photos on this gallery.

I don’t know what it is about seeing a puppet with cum on its face that makes me grin, but I’m not going to worry about it too long.

Click on Hardcore Puppets for more.

May 19, 2006

Pussy tools for the other pussies

Filed under: blog reviews,humor,photos — Simon @ 6:10 pm

Cat Carrier (humor pic) I’ve always wanted to be able to take my little pussies along when I go places, like you can do with dogs. A nice ride in an open Jeep. Maybe a walk on the beach.

Well, cats on leashes just doesn’t work. You can forget about herding them. And who wants to carry around a big boxy cat carrier?

But finally, there’s an answer. Just click the image for a full-size view.

I got the cat carrier ad from my friend, Chop, who has his own blog over at Chop on the Lake.

May 6, 2006

Pussy tattoo ideas

Filed under: celebrities,humor,photos — Simon @ 1:00 pm

This isn’t a movie, just something that gave me a laugh today. It’s from a post on the BDSM Board asking about slave [tag]tattoos[/tag], but then someone asked “If I want a tattoo around my pussy what will you suggest?” and these were the posted suggestions so far.

The Willy Nelson (?)

Okay, one of these might make you want to plug it in, but I think the other one is a little scary. Not sure I’d want to put anything personal in there.

wall socket pussy tattooscary pussy tattoo

From the post on this page if you want to see what other suggestions have been made.

April 16, 2006

Happy Easter

Filed under: humor,photos — Simon @ 6:01 pm

If you’re wondering why your chocolate bunnies and jelly beans didn’t get delivered on time, this may help to explain the problem.

Easter Bunny didn't look both ways

Sending a shout out to all my (marshmallow) peeps.

April 2, 2006

Oh yes, I want it inside me…but not just yet

Filed under: photos,premium sites — Simon @ 12:12 pm

I really like it when their little [tag]nipples[/tag] point up like that. This hot blonde is Desire, and she’s from a site called Penetration Tease

This place is all about hot girls who’ve mastered the art of completely controlling when her guy’s hard cock enters her sweet pussy, teasing the guy to the point of explosion and than finally giving him exactly what he wants.

I think of the girls at this site as “cock teasers who put out.”

Fuck, now that I think about it, all the cock teasers I’ve ever known put out … one way or another. Some acted like little virgins about it. Or swore that “I only give head” or “all I’ve ever done is given my boyfriend a handjob.” But all cock teasers give it up. You know why? Because hard dick is all they think about, all the time, that’s why.

To see the full-size pic, just click her right nipple. Actually, either nipple. Okay, actually anywhere on her.

If you want to see more of these little cock teasers, you can go to the Penetration Tease website for a nice combination of tease and please.

March 31, 2006

Do NOT book me into the Castration Cottage!

Filed under: commentary,humor,photos,sex news — Simon @ 4:50 pm

castration cottageOkay, I’m not saying you’re looking to have this done, but if you were going to lose your balls forever, is this the place you’d want it to happen?

I mean, seriously, wouldn’t your nads feel a little more comfortable with the whole idea if they knew you were going to a real medical facility to get them separated from you forever?



castrators pixAnd again, I’m not saying you’d ever want to have your balls removed, but even if you did want them offed, are these the three guys you’d want to trust with removing them?

Hell, are these three guys you’d want doing any kind of medical procedure one you?

This is unbelievable. Check out this real true-life [tag]castration[/tag] story…

HaywoodCountyNews.com: Authorities shut down sadomasochistic dungeon
by Jon Ostendorff, staff writer/Citizen-Times
updated March 31, 2006 6:24 pm

WAYNESVILLE – At least six men traveled from across the nation and South America to have their genitals mutilated in what Haywood County authorities described as a sadomasochistic dungeon.

Three Haywood County men are now in jail on felony charges of castration without malice and practicing medicine without a license.
(click to read more…)

March 25, 2006

Mmmmm, strawberries

Filed under: photos,premium sites — Simon @ 5:09 pm

I’m not sure exactly why, but I have this strong urge to bite into some strawberries all of a sudden.

You can see a big version of this pic if you want, just click on the small version here.

This is that little Leah girl again, the one who I mentioned yesterday. The braces got me started, so I looked around at her stuff and found this pic that gave me a real appetite.

Don’t forget you can visit her Sweet Leah Luv website if you want to see what else this [tag]teen[/tag] is into.

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