the xlog : x-rated weblog

A Bulgarian car crash victim was saved by her huge breast implants – which acted as airbags to absorb the impact. Elena Marinova, 24, from Sofia, was involved in a full frontal crash with another car in the northern city of Ruse. Despite both cars being written off and the other driver being badly hurt Marinova escaped serious injury thanks to her breast implants, according to the local Standart newspaper.

A police expert explained that the 40DD silicone implants “absorbed the impact of the crash”. He added: “They worked just like airbags – protecting the victim’s ribs and vital organs from damage. “However they are not as safe as the real thing because they exploded, which airbags are not supposed to do.”

The ladies in the wanted posters don’t just have fake beasts, they also used fake names and numbers to cheat a German plastic surgeon out of payment for their boob jobs.

Michael Koenig, a surgeon in Cologne who’s out about $10,000 for each enlargement surgery, gave photos of the newly larger breasts to the police, and the Bild newspaper went to press with a five-column picture of the naked breasts of “Tanja,” one of the women who stepped out for a breath of fresh air and never returned or paid.

The doctor say he believes all the women knew each other: “Now I am demanding money up front, pardon the pun,” he added.

How about making love to some cellphone-sounding music coming from your condom-covered cock?

Korrespondent magazine reports that a Ukrainian scientist has invented a new [tag]condom[/tag] with a miniature loudspeaker and motion sensor implanted in the condom’s upper cuff. The volume of the music varies with the intensity of the sex, and the tones change depending on the postions of the partners. Testing so far has shown no danger of electric shock to users of the device.

We don’t know when the Ukrainian condom will be on the market, but you can find a few other musical condoms by clicking the image of the little pig.

The things that come out when celebs are suing each other. This week Liza Minnelli’s estranged husband, David Gest, had his ten million dollar civil suit against her thrown out of court. He was claiming that in her drunken rages, Liza used to beat him up so badly that not only was he hospitalized but that he’s been having “severe, unrelenting” headaches ever since. The suit was held to have no merit when Gest’s own medical expert testified that it was a strain of herpes that was causing the headaches. Oh well, David, you may not be able to catch a break but at least you know where you can catch a beating.

A police sting in Syracuse, NY went weird when the [tag]prostitute[/tag] asked the john if he was a cop and he said no. At that point, she said, “that’s okay, because I am,” pulled out her handcuffs and said “move in” into her two-way radio. Now this might sound pretty standard at this point, but you see, the john really was a cop, and the prostitute, well, she may not have been a prostitute but she also was no cop.

So when the actual sting team moved in, it was the woman who was arrested, along with her female partner who’d been waiting in a car in an alley nearby. The fake prostitute was charged with first-degree criminal impersonation, prostitution (since she’d offered sex) and fifth-degree conspiracy. Her partner was charged with fifth-degree conspiracy and possession of a hypodermic needle.

In a city where barely-dressed prostitutes display themselves in storefront windows, the latest twist is having sex in a car fitted with a bed and set up on poles thirteen feet off the ground. Why, you might ask? Well, evidently because it’s there.

Well, at least it’s there now, since Italian artist Federico D’Orazio pulled the seats out of an Opel Kadett hatchback, put in a double bed, and placed the whole thing on four thirteen foot tall poles. If you’d like to spend a night there, you’ll need to write to the artist and tell him why you want to do it. Couples have written with requests to use the car to propose marriage but also just to engage in some mid-life memories of hot teen ‘parking’ lust. Which the artist says is perfectly safe to do since the structure was designed to be safe during sex. There is a six month waiting list.

Walk past the “dick tree” and the electric nipple clips and you come to The Throne, a replica of a reclining rocker that once toured the finest whorehouses in 19th-century France. An attached card says it was used for “group games.” While Berlin, Barcelona, Madrid and Amsterdam all have “museums of the erotic,” the Sex Machine Museum in Prague may be the first of its kind. The museum showcases an exposition of mechanical erotic appliances which were designed to bring pleasure and allow extraordinary and unusual positions during intercourse.

On an area of three floors there are more than 200 objects and mechanical appliances on view, a gallery of art with erotic themes, a cinema with old erotic films, erotic boudoir clothing and various other things related to human sexuality. You’ll see sex machines that are precursors to our modern-day stimulators, chastity belts, iron corsets, and other historical contraceptive devices. Some are demonstrated by mannequins, others speak for themselves. The wide variety of appliances range from intriguing to disturbing.

If you’re planning a trip to Prague anytime soon, you can visit the Sex Machines Museum between 10am and 11pm daily. Remember that no one under 18 is allowed inside. Their address is Melantrichova 18 – 11000 Praha 1, and their phone number is + 420 224216505.

You can also visit the Sex Machines Museum website.