the xlog : x-rated weblog

Yesterday the World Strip Poker Championship began at the Cafe Royal in central London, with around 200 seated to play “No Limit Texas Hold ’em.” Irish bookmaker Paddy Power organized the event following up on an April Fool’s spoof that generated tremendous interest in actually holding the event. Both male and female players, and from 12 different countries, are competing to keep their clothes on and walk away with the 10,000 pound prize, a Gold Fig Leaf trophy and the title of World [tag]Strip Poker[/tag] Champion. The winner also gets free entry into the 2007 Paddy Power Irish Poker Open, which will have prizes of over one million pounds.

How surprised are you to hear that this was done by someone who was drunk at the time? Witnesses say that the man who cut off his own penis was “strongly under the influence of alcohol.”

This idiot brought his dick to the hospital in a plastic bag, and in a three-and-a-half hour operation, had his organ stitched back on.

Doctors say that it will take four or five days to assess if the operation was successful, and then it would take about half a year to be sure that the man’s penis was functioning properly.

I’m hoping the Darwin effect takes over and this moron is never able to reproduce and pass his fucking stupidity into the gene pool.

I’m all for watching porn movies. I think that masturbation is a good thing. In my younger days I was know to enjoy having a drink or ten. And I’ve always liked to drive fine cars whenever I can. But combining all of those things at the same time can be a problem.

Or at least it was for Minnesota Timberwolves center Eddie Griffin.

A lawsuit filed last week states that he was drunk and [tag]masturbating[/tag] while watching [tag]pornography[/tag] in a DVD player mounted on the dashboard of his Cadillac Escalade SUV when he crashed into a parked Chevy Suburban back in March.

Somehow I know there’s going to be a big outcry and gnashing of teeth over how pornography and masturbation was the cause of the problem. Wrong! The problem was this guy doesn’t know how to manage his vices. You can do what you want to do, Eddie, but you can’t do them all at the same time with no regard to where you are or what else you’re doing.

This is a case of someone with bad impulse control, but I just know the PTB (powers that be) will find a way to gain some anti-porn/anti-sex points over it.

The accident was caught on the surveilance video of the Santana Foods store across the street. The video shows Griffin in the store pleading with witnesses to not call police saying, “I can’t go to jail.” It also shows Griffin admitting he is drunk and doesn’t have a driver’s license, and has him struggling for minutes to put on his sweatshirt and offering to buy a car for the man who’s SUV he crashed into in front of Santana Foods. The news site where I found the story has the video coded in a way that makes it hard to show to you here, but you can watch it on the page below if you want to see for yourself.

Wolves Player Watched Porn, Caused Crash

This could be a case of [tag]Femdom[/tag] gone too far! In Beijing, China, a 25 year old woman has been arrested for killing her husband with a sword because he refused to make dinner for her. But we’re not talking about an isolated crime of passion here. No, the police report on the crime says that this little lady has been forcing her husband to carry out her demands at the tip of her sword for years. Well, I guess the poor guy could have left her if he didn’t like getting shoved around by pointy objects. To each his own I guess, but personally I’d rather be sticking something into someone than getting something stuck into me. YMMV