the xlog : x-rated weblog

a twisted and humorous look at sex, pornography, and the world in general

August 6, 2007

Porn Town USA – a DVD review by Whackman

Porn Town USAThe Whackman has entered Porn Town USA, where every man’s dreams come true. Based in the San Fernando Valley, porn capital of the world, The Whackman has landed in Utopia. Let’s do this…

In scene 1, a brunette fitness chick with blonde streaks named Aria yearns to get fucked by her man. Aria wastes no time taking her man’s cock deep into her throat. She then takes a seat to get her loose cunt French kissed and thrusted at a good pace. Aria sits on her man and her “yes yes yes” moans are annoying, but her passion is imminent. She then gets backdoored while in doggystyle and she catches all of dude’s cum in her mouth – bravo to that.

In scene 2, a sexy blonde named Laurie Wallace and a good looking brunette named Leshelle get some girl on girl action. Leshelle is on her knees feasting on Laurie’s pussy while Laurie stands up. Leshelle pulls out a dildo to use on Laurie and then they switch and Laurie gets on her knees to lick and finger Leshelle. Laurie pulls out a dildo to use on Leshelle and the compacted scene just ends abruptly.

(click to read more…)

August 4, 2007

Who the fuck needs 237 reasons to fuck?

Filed under: commentary,humor,sex news — Simon @ 1:10 pm

How about a nice cup of shut the fuck up?Some new research just published this month in the Archives of Sexual Behavior lists 237 reasons why people say they have sex.

According to the biggest study carried out into sexual motivations, these include that it is a “reasonably effective way of overcoming boredom”, helps you fall asleep, gets rid of a stress headache, to celebrate a special occasion, to get a promotion and to feel closer to God.

Other reasons include the desire for revenge, to keep warm on a chilly night, because someone dared me, because they felt sorry for someone, and in order to end a relationship.

Maybe it’s just me, but most of the reasons really seem to be the kind of justifications you think of afterwards. At the time, I bet there weren’t more than a handful of real reasons, with the top one being “because I wanted to.”

Click the link below to see the whole list of 237 reasons.

(click to read more…)

August 3, 2007

Whackman reviews “Dark Deception”

Dark Deception DVDDick has had enough good stuff to be happy, including a beautiful wife and a dark and sexy mistress. But Dick is never content until he has it all. And you can’t have it all unless you are willing to risk it all. There’s a Dark Deception brewing.

In the opening scene, a brunette with a weird nose named Lola gets her pussy eaten out by her man. Then Lola spit shines the thick cock while in a 69. She bounces her twat on her man’s cock in a slow, wanna-be sensual fashion before lying on her side to take the continued cock jabbing. Lola is then doggied and The Whackman gets bored by the slow-ass pace.

Scene 2 brings The Whackman some girl-on-girl action at strip club between two good looking blondes named Tanya James and Allysin Chains. After Tanya (the more gorgeous of the two) gets fingered by Allysin, Allysin pulls out a dildo and puts it to work on Tanya. Then Allysin gets her cunt eaten out before getting in the doggy position to get poked by the dildo from Tanya.

(click to read more…)

August 1, 2007

The sheep is no rat

Filed under: humor,photos,sex news — Simon @ 10:26 am

inflatable sheep and man in lady's underwearA man who was accused of having sex with a sheep has walked free after the animal was unable to testify.

The man, from Haaksbergen, near Utrecht, the Netherlands, was reported to police after a farmer caught him having sex with a sheep. But the case was thrown out of court as the sheep couldn’t take to the stand to testify it didn’t want to have sex and had suffered emotional stress.

Under Dutch law, bestiality is not a crime unless it can be proved the animal didn’t want to have sex.

‘Short of putting the sheep in the dock, at the moment these perverts cannot be prosecuted,’ said animal rights campaigner Jos van Huisen.

Minister of Justice Ernst Hirsch Ballin has said he plans to change the law to make bestiality a criminal offence.

July 30, 2007

Asian Anal Addicts : a Whackman DVD review

Filed under: commentary,DVD Review,movie reviews,photos,video clips — Simon @ 10:10 am


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The Whackman will have the pleasure of watching these Asian Anal Addicts swallow whole cocks with ease. Oral, anal, and threesomes are in The Whackman’s near future. These obedient oriental chicks better have a really tight asshole, because The Whackman wants to see how much they can take.

A Japanese 20 year-old decent-looking slut named Yumi is dressed in pink slut attire and plays with her beat up twat after a brief interview. A dude joins in and tongue wrestles with her pussylips while another dude gets his cock sucked by Yumi. The tongue wrestler then thrusts her cunt while she continues to suck off the other dude. She is then doggystyled before sitting on dude. While on her back, her ass gets penetrated until she takes the moneyshot in her mouth from both dudes.

In scene 2, a small tittied acned up chick named Jenny keeps her mouth full of two dudes cock. She then gets plugged and her pimpled out ass turns The Whackman the hell off. She gets doggystyled by a brave lad and it looks like her acne is about to fucking pop. Jenny then rides one dude while keeping her mouth wrapped around the other dude’s cock. She gets back in doggystyle before lying on her back to get the dickens. Her bj’s are amateurish, but The Whackman has to give her credit for being a good sport and taking a cock up the crapper like a champ.

(click to read more…)

July 28, 2007

World’s Largest Testicle Festival

Filed under: humor,photos,sex news — Simon @ 3:09 pm

testicle festivalsEvery year more than 15,000 fans descend on Rock Creek Lodge, just outside of Clinton, Montana, for Testy Festy, the world’s largest testicle festival.

Over the course of the five day event, the festival serves over two tons of bull balls to the hungry attendees. Which helps support its “I had a ball at the Testicle Festival” motto, which is plastered over shirts, hats and other items of all kinds.
click this text for full-size poster

Find a babysitter for the kids, because the rules here are “No kids, hassles or brought-in beverages.” Everyone must be over 21 years old, and you can expect to see some partially nude and some naked partyers at the bars, on the streets and at the bull-chip throwing contest, the wet t-shirt or hairy chest competitions, and even the bull-shit bingo.

By the way, while you’re in Montana, you can also check out the Fromberg Festival of Testicles near Billings, the Mission Mountain Testicle Festival in Branding Iron, the Ryegate Testicle Festival some 60 miles from Billings, and the York Bar’s Go Nuts Festival in York, Montana.

Testy Festy XXV website

July 26, 2007

DVD Review: “Blind Date” featuring Tera Patrick

boxcover-2482-3096536.jpgThe Whackman is cordially invited to go on Legend’s Blind Date with a couple of different whores. With Tera Patrick blindfolded on the cover, this is going to be an eager anticipation. Skip the wine and dining and let’s take this shit straight to the bedroom.

The gorgeous covergirl Sadie Jordan, better known to The Whackman as Tera “motherfuckin” Patrick, gets her knockers and juicy twat licked by her man. Sadie then wraps her luscious lips around her man’s cock oh so well. She is roughly thrusted from underneath at a pace The Whackman can appreciate. Then, Sadie turns around and gets on her knees to take the continued pulverizing doggystyle. She lies on her back and takes her man to the promise land.

A fuckable schoolgirl looking chick named Gia sensually goes down on her no-strings-attached fuck buddy. They continue their oral exam in the 69. Gia then gets drilled with cock while lying on her back. She gets on all fours to get the dickin from behind. Then, its reverse cowgirl and she pounces in a “making love” type of fashion…it looked more like a love scene than a one-nite-stander.

(click to read more…)

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